Beyond Burnout: Rediscovering God's Blueprint for Rest and Renewal

Welcome to Season 4 of the Returning to Joy Podcast! This week we continue with our   new series, Sabbath Stories: Embracing Rest in a Restless World. Each episode we will unpack the sacred call to rest and renewal, as well as a practical practice to help you integrate rest rhythms into your life. 

This episode's key concept: Rest is Resistance. 

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Transcript

6:49:17

I was going to start this episode by saying, I'm so excited to record this. And I realized the reality is I am each time so excited to record whatever it is that in that space I've felt led to record, whether that's I'm doing an interview with someone, or it's just me behind the mic. And this time, it is just me behind the mic. And I am, as you would have guessed it, so excited. What I'm wanting us to dive into is to talk about rest, to explore that. And it's funny, about two years ago, I don't always like seek the Lord for like, what is my word for the year, but two years ago, the word that the Lord gave me for the year was rest. And I remember thinking in my mind, come on, let me get a better word, like I know how to rest. But rest is the word he gave me. And just as I was about to start, as I was practicing in prepping for this time, I came across First Corinthians eight, one that really convicted me like reconvicted me, it says, If anyone imagines that he knows something he does not know, as he ought. So he read again, if anyone assumes basically, that they know a thing, they probably actually know nothing. That's the Gabrielle translation of that. So I felt the sting of Oh, yeah, I was doing that I came in thinking, I know what the rest is. I know what it looks like. There was nothing left for you to teach me there. Right? I wouldn't have said that out loud. You know, but in my heart, it was it was it was there, it was present. I think over these last two years, God has been continually bringing me back to the concept of the principle, the Kingdom Principle of rest, and Sabbath rest, and what does that look like? And so this season, we're going to be unpacking rest, you know, is titled Sabbath stories. And to give a little bit of like, framing least for this episode, I want to say this thing, rest is resistance, among many other things, right. But rest is resistance. It is a form of resistance. The first time we see rest mentioned in the Bible is actually in Genesis to Genesis chapter two, verse one, our English translations will translate that Hebrew word as rest, and the primary connotation of that word is actually to cease abstain to desist from determinate, right? That is the primary connotation, this scent, this resistance from something, but the connotation that we typically give to this word, as we apply it today, is actually to be inactive. And that just that just misses. There is a form of rest, right? That's just chill out, call that chill, inactivity, just being chill, I'm chilling, I'm hanging out, you know, we can still use that language of rest. But if we're talking about the, the biblical and kingdom concept of rest, it actually isn't just a inactivity, that's kind of diminishing of the potency of like, what is happening in those moments in which something is resting something is resisting from something, whether that be a person, or a land, or a people. And so I want to just introduce that to you. That may not be new news. But we're gonna keep unpacking rest along the way. But that's the tidbit on that word. For this time, our time together today. So we'll talk about, you know, what, for the people of God, what is rest? What isn't it? And what are its benefits? Today, specifically, the benefit that we're going to reflect and meditate on is the space that rest gives us to consider. I spent some time away a month away, solo, on sabbatical, someone gave a specific donation to me and said, I feel like the Lord is is saying you need some time away to rest. And it was crazy, because I had been actually praying for about a month or two, a couple months. If if I needed to step back for a moment. And, and but I was not sure if like I was like God is that just me and my just running in my, my hearing you it's just what I want. And then and then also like financially, it doesn't really make sense right now. And then this person texted me this randomly and I thought, well sign me up. I guess I am going I'm going on a month long sabbatical. And so I did that and they connected me actually with a prayer and retreat center that Hannah has some Celtic monastic values that have shaped the structure of it, but in Wales, and if I'm honest, I was a little bit like Wales God. I don't know I'm pretty sure the black population would, would double for sure with my presence. But the nonetheless I was like, Okay, I prayed about it. Okay, I'm going. And so I was among this incredible community at Fawlty Brennan, near the Pembrokeshire Coast. And it was incredible. I spent the first five days maybe of my time there was gone in total in a couple of different countries. But in total, I was gone for about 25 days. And day seven, I think, or six was when I got to Wales. And the first five days of my time there I, I literally did nothing. But look at flowers. I mean, the whole time, I mean, I'm serious. Like I now there was rhythms of prayer that the community would invite you into nothing was forced to participate in. And there were spaces. Yes, like I spend time reading scripture. And I and I did some time journaling, or paint, or watercolor was actually something that I really found myself enjoying to do, because I was inspired by it by the fields around me. But I'm not I'm not joking with you. When I say the first five days, I spent just gazing at flowers at this prayer and retreat center. One, it was nestled in the middle of this national park, like the Pembrokeshire National Park, and there's nothing but fields and fields and fields as far as the eye can see, I mean, miles, you know, to the the north, south, east and west, you're like, wow, the Earth is expansive. And actually, it's funny. The population of sheep outnumber the people in Wales three to one. So also on hilltop, after hilltop, I can see sheep grazing. And then there was some, some cows. And so you'd hear some noises occasionally. And I spent time just looking at the flowers that were surrounding this prayer center, they had cultivated this incredible garden. And so many varieties of flowers were just everywhere surrounding the the space in this little pond. And those bunnies would, would hop around and like eat at the grass and eat it somewhere like the leaves. And so I would, I would just sit there, whether it was from my little small, small place where I slept, I looked through my little window, and I'd stare at the flower at the flowers and these in this gorgeous tree that it kept speak, I don't know that tree just felt like man is speaking to me something. And I don't know what it is. But I was like, Lord, you want to say something to me about this tree. Maybe something will come eventually. But I was just so drawn to what I was seeing around me, I didn't even know what it meant yet. You know, sometimes we can try and assign meaning to something too quickly. And we get out of the way of just being present to it right and, and I was doing that there was a part of me like, whether it was eight hours in or to being present, or, or three days into being in this space. There's a little part of that was like, Ah, it's gotta be something more valuable that I can do with my time here like make surely I should be in the prayer room more praying? Or surely I should be like reading even more scripture, or I don't know, there's a search, surely, there's got to be something better. But I felt the grace to lean into it that you know, that that that thing in you that deep knowing that invitation of the Holy Spirit of like, I think that this is actually where I need to be I think the best, the best descriptor of it was be you know, when Jesus talks about Mary and Martha in that moment, he's like, actually like Mary's right where she needs to be. There is this sense of, I think I'm actually right where I need to be, though I feel the resistance to it. Because it's contrary to my nature. It's contrary to learn behavioral patterns, right? Whether I picked it up from church or culture, it's contrary. And there was some resistance happening there. You see what I'm getting word there. Like, there was resistance. And that actually was where the invitation to rest was going to look like. The resistance to me was I need to start to shut my brain down. To stop trying to figure it out. Try stop trying to like analyze it, stop trying to assume I know what God's gonna do stop trying to perform my way into a better emotional or spiritual state. And just consider just look, just gaze just perceive. Jesus actually gives us an invitation into that very exact thing. In Matthew chapter six. It's so interesting when I was telling people about this experience in Wales on these first five days, and I got more to talk about that we're not done there. They one person was like, Wow, that really sounds like you know you got it. talk to people about that. That sounds like you experienced, maybe what Jesus was talking about when he says, Consider the lilies. Look at the birds. And I'm honest with you, and we're gonna read through it, but I'm wondering myself, like, wow, was Jesus prescribing for us a meditative practice that we've, we haven't considered, we haven't seen the value of we've trivialized it. We've assumed we know. And maybe there's an invitation for you like there was an invitation for me to rest. So in Matthew chapter six, I'm reading a chapter six, I want to read verses 26 through 30, verse 26, says, Jesus says, Look at the birds of the air, I want to stop right there for a second, I've already spoken to it, because I got ahead of the game a little bit, but that word look, some translations will translate consider, it is saying, to observe, fixed li to discern clearly to behold, gaze up, look upon. See, that's what Jesus is. That's what whatever is about to follow. Jesus is telling us to do that. Behold, gaze up, look upon See, observe fixedly, what is about to follow? Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow, neither do they reap. So look at the birds of the air that they do not sow, neither do they reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them is giving us an instruction to look at the birds. Beloved, when's the last time you looked at the birds? When's the last time you've looked at the birds? And I don't mean like those moments when you see oh, that's a pretty one. When's the last time you truly gazed fixed Li You fixed your gaze upon a bird's what's what's interesting about that is, we know that there's other language in the Bible that when we think of when I think of fix my gaze, I actually think about that, in terms of like, fixing my gaze on on Christ. I've never thought about like, what would it look like to fix my gaze upon this bird? And allow the Holy Spirit to speak? Could God that God could possibly actually renew actually medicate anxiety? Through me fixing my gaze upon this bird, but it says, neither do they reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them? Are you not worth much more than they? Are you not worth much more than they I love right there. It's what's what's striking to me is Jesus begins to disconnect, their diligence, their labor, their travail, you know, there's some there's some good principles in here we know we talk about the value of like sowing and reaping of planning ahead, and Jesus dis disconnecting their actions, some of these very good from their worth and their value, he's disconnecting it from them. Then it says, verse 27, it says, And which of you, by being anxious can add a single qubit qubit to your life to your lifespan? I'm tripping over the Scripture, but I'm not gonna edit this. We keep going. Verse 28, it says, And why are you anxious about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow? And why are you anxious about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow, they do not toil, nor do they spend that word toil talking again about this, like excessive labor. That's that's that that word is trying to describe a kind of labor that leads into this weariness and fatigue says they do not toil nor do they spin, I want to stop there and kind of go back to that moment Lewisburg those first five days in Wales. So during that time, something that I was really struck by as you know, I'm looking at these flowers. And I know and I, what I noticed, as I'm retelling this, about that time, I noticed the enjoyment increase, like I just I, I was enjoying it. I wasn't sure if you know if it was the best use of time, right? But I enjoyed it, I noticed that my strength and delight was increasing. I'd look at these flowers. And after I'd maybe I'd spend like a couple of hours, like literally like watching the flowers or I'm walking through a field. And there's weeds growing all around me or there's, you know, different like wheat that's growing up. And I'd have these moments where I would just break into song. I wanted to worship, no one had to tell me to no one had to tell me like Well, we know we're in a very spiritual place. So you should probably praise the Lord. Maybe intercede for that person that you know is going through chemo right now. No one had to tell me to do that. I I was seeing these flowers and and I was seeing the earth and watching it and watching the way they were responding to the wind. Because it is let me tell you it is when Me, in Wales, Ireland and I went to Ireland as well too. And that's, that's, that's a different type of rain rain. And that's a different type of wind that I've never experienced in my life. But Wales still had some intensity to it. And, and I'd watched these flowers just move and sway in the wind on times when it was a little bit more peaceful and calm. And one night there was this. There was I felt a little heartbroken because it was like, maybe day four. And so now I've I've grown this, you know, attachment to these flowers I make I feel connected to them. Now. I'm like, No, you don't need to live. And there's a lot of them. But there's one night where there was an intense storm. Actually, it was like an early morning deal. And it was intense. And the wind was really crazy. And I'm like, Are these flowers gonna make it and x it was like struggling like, Lord like, it's crazy. Anyways, I'm super digressing. I'm gonna come back. So. But I'm, after looking at these flowers for a while, I also noticed a sense of exposure and invulnerability. And what I mean when I say that, I will say a part of it was, I look at these flowers, and I could see their value. Right? I was seeing me and like they make me want to worship. And it was easy. And also they they I feel enjoyment. I'm delighted just looking at them. I feel strengthened, just looking at them. It was easy to see the value of what they bring every single one of them right. But I but I began to realize God I can see and I spoke to I said this to the Lord in prayer one time or just you know which prayer for me. It's just conversation. I said, God, I see their value. But if I'm honest, I don't see my own. It's clear to me why these flowers need to be here on this earth. But honestly, I don't know why I need to be here. Because this is a very big world. You got very big, it's expensive. This land I'm alright Wales is a very tiny country. And yet it to as I'm standing here in this on this hilltop seems very expansive. There's a lot of people on the earth, what value am I bringing here? And I also don't know if I can continue to try and create value because that's the other thing that I noticed is by considering these, these flowers that Jesus speaks to in verse 20. He literally says they don't they do not toil, nor do they spin. I don't know what that word really means. And I looked that one up, but I'm looking and I'm going and I didn't have I didn't read this verse. Again. This was this chapter wasn't even in my mind as I'm doing this, right? It wasn't in my mind. But I'm looking at these flowers, and I'm begin to talk to the Lord, I say, Jesus, I'm frustrated, I was wrestling, it caused me to wrestle and be frustrated, because I'm like, it looks so easy for them. They're just there. And I can clearly see how they bring glory to God, I can clearly see their work, I can clearly see their purpose, I can clearly see what they bring to the earth. But God, I don't see mines. And it looks so easy for them. They're just right there. They don't seem like they're stressed. I was like God, I feel stressed about bringing you glory. But yet I look at these flowers, and they don't seem stressed. They don't seem stiff and uptight and struggling and, and just be down and heavy laden and overwhelmed. All in an attempt to glorify You. They just move with the wind. They just, they're rooted in their place there and they glorify, I want to praise your name because I see them. Each and every one of them I wrestled the fruit of this consideration that's prescribed in Matthew six was that well, there's a couple of routes to it. I'm trying to wrap this into a nice late tide boba man, there's a lot of fruits from this time of consideration. But this is to point to maybe a couple one, I will say that and I mentioned this one quickly. Remember I said those first five days I just felt invited to consider to look and what I realized is that man, I'm enjoy I feel enjoyment in this, you know, I watercolored some some leads in based off of what I was seeing, at one time in the prayer room, maybe after these after that, for that period of those days. I'm listening to the Lord and I just feel like I hear him whisper when I say God, like, what do you want to speak to me? It was the first time I had asked that question because I didn't want to put pressure on trying to hear God's voice or discern anything in this time. And I felt as clear as day in my heart. I feel like I heard the Lord say, I enjoy you. And I wept like a baby in this incredible, my kind of underground prayer room. And I know for a fact that there is no way I would have that would have struck the depth of my heart like you did if I didn't first experience enjoyment among those flowers feeds wanting to know that the Lord loves us. But I want to tell you right now Beloved's that God enjoys you. He enjoys your presence. He enjoys your voice. He enjoys your heart. He wants to be with you. Because I'm like, Man, my God, you gotta love me. Right? We can get so used to hearing that over and over again that we trivialize it too, and it stays surface but God also enjoys you. So that was a fruit but also I realized my life glorifies God, my life glorifies God. So when I said that earlier, I said that I felt vulnerable. One of the things I noticed about myself as I was looking at these lilies, in these birds, and the wind in the fields was that I felt explorer exposed and vulnerable, you know, and so part of that made me realize, like, Oh, I see their value, but not my own. But the other thing that exposed me was, I realized that in my head, I was aware of the truth. But my internal operating system, right, what was actually what what I was actually moving, thinking, believing and choosing based off of, was functioning off the belief system, that my existence is tied up in performance, my ability to perform well, based on, you know, things defined by the church or the culture, but rest gave me the power to practice resistance of that false your existence, the value of your existence is not tied up in your performance. It's not tied up in it, you are of worth of more value than these Lily's been these birds. And is not because what you're doing is not because of your work, your labor, your good your good deeds, the things your self righteousness, the things that you're doing or you're not doing. It is simply because you are a child of God, you have been crafted and created in the image of God and you living brings him glory. Let me backtrack, there is a literally I mean, if I'm honest, last year, there was a I was really devastated from a breakup. That happened last year that I really had some some solid hopes around. But it just became clear if I actually like, Nope, we are going to be we are need to part ways and go in different direction. And I was devastated about it. Great guy. And there was one day where I really struggled to get up and get out of bed. Minus I was like, the morning came, my alarm went off. And I was just like, God, I don't want to do it. Why you gotta give me a reason, guys, but because it wasn't just the breakup situation. But there was, I just felt I was like, God, I don't. I don't. What I realized what was happening was like, I think I was rejecting getting up another day, and trying to earn love, whether that be in ministry, whether that be in volunteering, whether that be in care for other people, whether it be in a relationship, whatever it be, it was like I'm fatigued, I'm tired. I don't want to do it anymore. I cannot do it anymore. You gotta give me reason to live. You gotta give me reason to get out of this bed. And that's what I'm kind of mean by that, like, God, you gotta I have no reason. You gotta give it to me. Because I felt beat down. I realize that, you know, there's a verse there's several verses, right, actually. So in First Corinthians 10, verse 33, it says, Therefore, whether you eat or drink or webby, or whatever you do, do it all do all things for the glory of God, how that God translated in my head was like, Yeah, I live for the glory of God. I've heard countless sermons on this. Right? There's, there's other places where that show where that language shows up. But this verse For sure of, you know, whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. And somehow, that got translated in my head as like, Glory equals performance, though, let me and it also got tied to the kinds of things to do like okay, worship, okay, read my Bible, okay. Um, acts of justice, like proclaiming truth, seeing the poor, seeing the widow seeing the orphan, it got, you know, it got abused, it got twisted. And that's the thing about a lie, like, every time lies always, they have a little bit of truth in them. That's how our enemy works. There's a little bit of truth, they're not completely false. Yes, we're to live for the glory of God, there's truth in that statement, it is true. There is truth in that, but then our interpretations can get a little twisted, and it deceives us, you know, like, I realized I was subconsciously interpreting that in this like fish with this, like, Christianese license to strive, really, that's what was going on. See will spiritualize actions that are actually not rooted in Christ. They're rooted in pride, performance, a Savior, complex guilt, but burnout will humble us real quick, so you're listening and you're like, yes, it will. It is. It has. So on that day, going back to my bed, when I'm sitting there, I'm lying there. And I'm telling God, you gotta give me a reason. Like, because I hear live for the glory of God, as this heavy weight it is if somebody really does have their foot on my neck, that is what that statement is doing for me right now. And I just feel like there was just this moment where it just it clicked that spoke to my spirit and it was like Gabrielle, I love the Lord will for sympathize with us. For God God on my level is God always does right. I mean, Jesus got on my level. I was like, I know. It's hard to live. It's hard to live. Living is is a choice. It is not easy. It takes a whole lot of courage, a whole lot of strength that often we do not have, you do not have. But if you will live today, I promise you, your life, your living will glorify Me. And when I tell you, I wish there were words to describe that moment, but all I know is God spoke those words to me and I had I had courage to get out of the bed. I didn't have shame in it. There wasn't shame, and overwhelmed keeping me in the bed. There was courage to propel me out of the bed. Because in that moment, all of a sudden, I realized, oh, yeah, there was this reality for me in that moment of like, oh my gosh, like I yeah, I'm gonna live and my life because I'm connected to Christ like it. It, it will glorify the Lord. Right, like, my life is inextricably inextricably Yeah, there we go linked to Christ, like Colossians three, versus three says, it says, I've died, I've died, you've died. And the life that I live today is now hidden within Christ's life that I'm living in the flesh in this body of mines is now hidden in Christ. And when Christ who is now our life appears like so will, will you, you and I both be revealed, or you've got Galatians 220, where it says, you no longer live, but Christ lives in you. And the life you now live in the flesh. You live in faith in the power of the sun. I walk in communion with Christ, I walk with him, that's the one who's living right now. I'm being molded in his image being renewed, and redeemed, I'm walking in connection. And as a result, I just get to choose to I just get to live not not connected to the things I do but connected to the one I'm with. So I moved from glory being connected to performance to glory, being connected to new life. And that wasn't that wasn't a heavy yoke that renewed my strength that renewed my courage. I could live for that. I could live I was I was like, God i i see these flowers and they make me want to worship and I'm going God I am they're not anxious. They don't I just really like this. No, you know, you just feel spoke you like they're not they're not wrestling enough fighting, like I'm fighting God, show me how to live like that. And we don't have great models for that, right? We're all trying to get this. We're all trying to get this right doing the best we can. So the invitation from crisis to consider the lilies. You're like, I don't have a model for rest. No one taught me how to do that. Everyone around me is burned out and tired and struggling and striving and John to put on a good face and make it seem like they're good, but they need they are not Christ gives us the invitation to consider to fix league gaze upon the birds, the flowers, the lilies. So what's the application here? Oh, and also this is really cool. This, I'm gonna go off on a tangent, like I kind of do typically. I was torn because this, this invitation from Christ appears in two different parts of the in in Matthew as well as Luke. And I wasn't sure which chapter I would read from. And when I turned to Matthew, literally next to this chapter was a note that I guess someone wrote me and put in my Bible can't make this up. And literally in the note, it says you are planted, rooted. For the display of his splendor, you can't make this up. That's what I read right before recording this, you are planted rooted in the display of his splendor, there are so many varieties of flowers, there are so many flowers out there like I literally it was fields and fields of flowers all around this building. There were a variety and there were repeats. And the lawyer was speaking to me about the value of the variety and the vowed value of the repeats because you're gonna be like, God, there's like 16 Roses right here. Right, but nobody had nobody says that about flowers or like this 16 Roses like surely oh, these roses, got some away. Right? Like, it sounds dumb. It sounds silly. But but we do that about ourselves. We're like, God, there's like, you know, every everybody's teaching in this way or like God, there's other people that are doing a much better job like trying to solve problems around housing in my city. Do I need to also try and engage with that? There's other people who are better equipped at it. And gods like, yes. Add to the symphony. That's something that God was showing me. Like this field we see us that's part of the harm in our over individualized. So society, here in the West, is that that anxiety about who you are and your worth and your value, like, you would think it would be the opposite, but that actually can Um, I believe more when we're hyper individualistic, because we're like, oh, I'm this flower right here. And I'm this rose, and there's like 18 other room of them. But when we think about the collective, when we think about stepping back, and like that experience you have when you're gazing at a field of roses, a field of these wildflowers, flowers, these this variety, you recognize, oh, my gosh, this, all of it is adding to this symphony, this this, this gorgeous display a splendor that would miss something. If this was taken away, there is not a sense of too much, right? There's not like, oh, there's too much. That's oversaturated over there. Let me not let me not get in on that. No, we don't look at we don't say that when we look at a field of lilies. In fact, like I invite you, it's, it's beautiful to step in closer. And actually, you'll realize, few flowers actually look exactly the same. If you really lean in and look at them, they don't actually look the same exact same, they actually aren't completely shaped the same. But we only see that by coming in close and considering so here's the application, I want to invite you to three things. The first one is go to a place you enjoy. preferably one that's that's outside, where you can observe creation things that we need that right. We need creation to model for us what rest looks like. And then as you're outside, wherever you are, I want you to ask the Holy Spirit to guide your focus. As you walk for five minutes, I want you to notice what grabbed your attention and consider what God might be saying might be trying to tell you like if there was something that grabbed your attention, remain there for a while, as long as you can really take a walk to survey the area and do that for five minutes. But then go back and be like and notice what grabbed my attention sit and linger there with that. Maybe eventually asked the question guy What are you wanting meat? What do you what do you want and to speak through this? And then respond. That's kind of open to interpretation. I mean by that join the current chorus Beloved's express your appreciation with your life, what do you want to do as a result of what you just witnessed? Do you want to worship, play some worship music? Do you want to call up a friend? And encourage them? Go do that? Sure. Do you want to now make a rhythm of that in your life? Amazing. You want to open up the word and study do that? Is there some idea that drops in your spirit? Amazing, but just respond those lilies, that's what they were doing. They were responding tons of them different varieties, but every single one of them was needed. It was a chorus, not just one flower that inspired me to praise and to live, but it was all of them. And it was also singled out ones I will stop at different ones. So live, live, beloved, live, and your life will be to the glory of God.